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If your friend is pregnant and considering adoption for her baby, it’s okay to be unsure about how to best support her. You may not fully understand why she is considering adoption, and you may have different feelings about it than she does. But, your friendship can be an important source of support in her adoption journey.

1) Encourage her to seek out quality resources.

When she tells you she wants to make an adoption plan, encourage her to seek out quality adoption resources. Suggest that she talks with a pregnancy counselor. Encourage her to choose the right adoption agency for her! Help her find support groups after placing her child with their forever family. She may not know that she has a choice in what kind of agency she chooses. Additionally, you can make sure she finds one that has open adoption, the ability for her to choose the family, and lifelong support, even after she places!

2) Stand by her side.

As her friend, you want to be a shoulder to cry on and be an encouragement to her. She is putting a lot of time, effort, and love into this plan for her child. Ask her questions about her adoption plan and celebrate her as she makes this brave decision. That might mean looking through family profiles with her as she chooses a forever family for her baby, holding her hand through labor and delivery, or helping her adjust to life after she leaves the hospital.

While she may not desire to have a baby shower, you could gather comfort items, like lotion, socks, or a blanket, for her to use during her hospital stay. After leaving the hospital, she might need more time than you think to get back to feeling herself. So remember to give her the space and love she needs while she heals. She will need your support as she heals both physically from birth and emotionally from the placement.

3) Be her support system.

As she considers adoption for her baby, your support will help her feel even more confident in her decision. Most importantly, it will remind her that she is not alone. Choosing adoption is not easy, but having a good support system can help the birth mother take a deep breath! Having people around who love her and care about both her and her baby will make all the difference!