The short answer is YES! One of the questions we often hear from expectant mothers who are making an adoption plan is if they will get to see their baby after he is born. They are fearful that choosing to place their child for adoption will prevent them from having the option to see and hold their child prior to placement.
We have put some creative guidelines in place to help alleviate these fears. We take a birthmother-centered approach to adoption. We listen to your desires, and we work with you to make a plan for hospital time and for the time to follow. To help you understand, let’s break this question down into two parts: what happens during the hospital stay and what happens after that.
During the hospital stay
When we sit with an expectant mother, we allow her to determine what her hospital time will look like. Do you want to hold the baby after he is born? Do you want to care for the baby throughout the hospital stay? Or do you want the baby to stay in the nursery the entire time? Every situation is so unique, and every expectant mom has different wants and desires.
Many birthmothers truly benefit from caring for their baby in the hospital. They are able to look back at those moments with great joy and a full heart. In other situations, many women desire to see their child placed with the adoptive couple immediately to help the baby begin to bond with the adoptive parents. We focus on allowing birthmothers as much time with their baby as they need and desire during that hospital time.
In weeks, months, and years to come
We want you to know how important you are to us. It is our desire to continually give you updates. We require all adoptive families to send in updates and pictures. The adoptive family is required to send in pictures and a letter with updated information 4 times the first year, every 6 months until age 5, annually from age 6-13, and until age 18 if the child continues to consent. If you choose, we will send all of these updates and pictures to you, and you will get to follow his milestones as he grows.
In choosing to receive these updates, you would get to see and hear about some of the details of his development, like when he rolls over for the first time, when he starts walking, his kindergarten graduation, and if he takes any special trips. You would get to see several up-close pictures of his smiling face with every update and know he is well cared and happy. You would also have the option of face-to-face visits. Most of these visits happen once a year, but sometimes they are more or less frequent.
Our families have been equipped to think about how they are going to honor you as their birthmother in their home. We encourage families to celebrate their child’s adoption story as it is such a loving and sacrificial choice. It will be up to you to decide how much openness you want, but our families are ready to get to know you if that is what you desire.
Your adoption plan details are up to you
There are many questions and fears that come along with making an adoption plan, and we are here to provide truth to you about the details surrounding all of your options. If you desire to see and care for your baby in the hospital, it is important to us that you get this time and that you are prepared for this time. Remember, you are in the driver’s seat when it comes to making a plan for your child. The details are up to you.
